What To Do When You Feel Lost

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I wanted to put up a review for The Immortalists today but instead I prefer to get something out of my chest. These ideas have been on my mind for too long and I think it can help other people too.

In the recent years, I have found myself questioning a lot of things about my life. And a lot of times, I was lost. Completely and utterly confused. Am I doing what’s right for me? Is this really the field I want to study? Is this job worth keeping? Should I find something else ? Is this partner right for me?

I think the real reason why I’m feeling lost is people putting up too much pressure on myself. They expect a 20 years old girl to succeed in school and know exactly what she wants to do for the rest of her life. Let me tell you, this would not happen.

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I entered University with the beautiful sunshine mindset that I’d become a neurosurgeon and finish school making my parents proud. The first semester of Neurosciences taught me that AINT NO WAY you gonna become a neurosurgeon unless you’re in Medicine. First step on demotivation right here.

And the second semester taught me that neurosciences have its strengths but also its weaknesses. I didn’t like the way the teachers approach the nervous system by dismissing the behaviours and psychology. I was fascinated by the brain but in order to understand it, I needed the science of behaviours. This is when I decided to change majors and applied for Psychology.

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This drastic change had not only an impact on my ego but on my family’s pride too. I started with neurosurgeon as a goal and now I’m down to psychology?! Wtf Trang?!

A step down from medicine to social sciences. “Eurgh.”

But along the way, I learned way more about myself and other people in that major than any classes I took in Neurosciences. I learned to cope with anxiety attacks, to know what’s good for my mental health and what are their limits. I experienced grief. I also learned how to cherish the little things in life because it could all go away by tomorrow.

So yes I was lost, yes it took me 4 years to change programs and finish a degree and yes I am still lost.

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And you know what I realized? You need to get lost. Take a step back. And reflect.

Allow yourself to experiment new things.

This is how I started new hobbies like blogging about books, enjoying more things on the side, being more open minded.

You must get lost to find yourself.

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Everybody has their own path and we should all stop looking into others people achievements as goals. We should look at them as happiness. I am happy for you but that’s it. It’s not because someone is a doctor at 22 that you feel obliged to have the same career. Or the same apartment. Or the same salary.

And by the way, the more I talk to people the more I realized, no one ever has their shi** together.

So it may all be rainbow and sunshine on their Instagram, we all feel lost and that’s something people don’t want to display on social media LOL

So you are in your early twenties? PLEASE FCKN ENJOY IT. You have the energy to go and explore. To try and mistakes.

There are no deadlines for life achievements.

There are no deadlines to find your passion either. Just keep an open mind and allow yourself to accept that there are things you cannot control and that’s okay.

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47 Comments Add yours

  1. Tammy says:

    Well said, Trang! I’m NOT in my twenties and I still question WTF I’m doing sometimes. Life is a journey, not a destination😁

    Liked by 2 people

    1. LOL I think the best way to approach it is ton enjoy life as it is and not settle for that perfect life where everything just fits perfectly. Thank you Tammy for sharing it with me because it reassures me to know I’m not alone in this 😉

      Like

  2. Kristina says:

    I love this, an hurray for you!

    Im closer to 25 than to 20now.. and oh. Gosh. Am I lost. Im not even starting to know what im doing, or where I wanna head either 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. HAHA WELCOME TO THE CLUBB! ❤ Honestly me too hahah I'l be 24 this year so much closer to the 25 LOL and I have no idea what I'm doing but at least we managed to find happiness in the simple things 😉

      Like

      1. Kristina says:

        atleast there’s that !
        ahah same actually .. but still a long way – last week of december ..

        Like

  3. Thank you for this post so much! I’m feeling pretty lost because I’ve no idea what to study in college or what I’m going to do for a living. And my friends and family seem to have so many expectations on me. I think I’ll just continue to try out different things for now to find my passion!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yess I feel you!! And you know what? You do your thing! Try a lot of passions, even if it takes time even if people telling you the “safe” way to do things. You go out there and you try until you find what youre looking for 😉 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Marie says:

    Thank you for writing this wonderful and inspiring post. I feel “old” already, (while I’m only close to 25) and feel like I’m already supposed to have everything together, job, life, everything’s supposed to be perfect by now and… I’m completely lost and it’s really crazy annoying at times. Thank you for that. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. MARIEE ❤ I'm so happy to know that it helps you a bit hahah! IT IS SO CRAZYY and so annoying with times 😦 But along the way, I'm sure you made some pretty good realizations 😀 We should all ban that life has to be perfect at any moment and at any age LOL

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Marie says:

        YES WE SHOULD BAN THAT IDEA that it shoudn’t be perfect. Yet with social media and everythin else, it’s hard to do it haha.

        Like

    1. Thank you very much! 🙂

      Like

  5. Holly says:

    LOVE this post! Thank you for writing this! ❤ I feel like it's exactly what I needed to hear this morning 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so happy I can help!! 😀 I think we all need a little dose of reminding than we are dong okay and no one can rush us LOL

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Thanks for this post, Trang. I am with you 100% percent. Sometimes things don’t go as planned and it’s okay.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. THank you Nikola!! ❤ Indeed, life is so unexpected you can never know but that doesn't stop us from going forward, maybe get lost along the way but it's okay 😀 I don't think well ever NOT BE LOST LOL

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I can definitely relate to this! I think it has gotten harder with the constant social media pressence and the way we all curate what we put on there to not wonder how others are doing so much better, when in reality, like you said, no one has their shit together. Thanks for this lovely reminder that it’s okay to get lost.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Definitely, the social media presence has played such a big role in our expectations and what should be done and not be done. The faster people realize that no one has their sh** together, maybe we start being kinder to ourselves 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Bookstooge says:

    Man, is life cyclical. I remember when I was 20 and had a meeting where I talked about seeing all these older (ie, 30 year olds) guys who seemed to have it together. Afterwards, the father of a classmate of mine came up to me and told me “We’re still playing it by ear too. Day at a time!”. It encouraged me back then and it makes me laugh now.

    Because it is so true. So while I pray that life in general can settle down for you, I suspect you’ll be one of those “wanderers” for the rest of your life 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my god!! THANK YOU for those words because it just confirmed whatI suspected to be : we are always going to be lost LOL no matter how old we are hahaha! I guess it makes sense since we are always looking out for more opportunities, more risks taking.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Pearl says:

    I’m on my mid 20s, and I couldn’t agree more on this. This is sooo true! Until now I’m still unsure as to what I want and how to proceed. Haha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hhahah! Welcome to the club 😀 But as all the comments I’ve read here, we are reallly not alone. See it as a sign or a call to try out new things, to recollect our thoughts and just take that one risk 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Pearl says:

        Thank you! Let’s do this! Haha

        Like

  10. I’m not in my early twenties but I still feel lost all the time, the thought of the future kind of terrifies me a little and the way my life is going sometimes makes me stop and think ‘is this where I want my life to go?’. Still don’t have an answer to that question but I loved this post Trang, it’s great to read and nice to know I’m not alone in feeling lost sometimes. 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sometimes I think that we are all going to always wonder what will the future hold for the rest of our lives, and definitely not what we would always expect it to be ! I will probably still wonder about my life in my thirties,forties and so on LOL

      Liked by 1 person

      1. See as much as that is kind of comforting part of me is dreading still worrying over these kinds of things that far in the future as well! 😀

        Like

  11. Beware Of The Reader says:

    Well Trang this is so true. It’s YOUR life not your parent’s or friends or …that’s what I say to my kids. They have to find their way. And better now when you are young without a loan to pay than later because it’s not impossible but it’s more complicated. I often think if I would lose my job I would begin again and study graphic design and web design LOL

    Like

    1. Hahah definitely !! 😀 We all have to find our ways somehow! Unfortunately I do have loans to pay but now that I’m working full time it should be a bit easier than once I was in University LOL ! Graphic design and web design is a good choice! Maybe you can find some classes offer online or just experiment with some graphic designs programs first to get a taste of it ? 😉 It’s never too late!

      Like

  12. Well said. I think it’s great you’ve figured some of this out already! Life doesn’t have to follow a static path. I’m in my 30s and have changed my career path a few times. Each change was made at a time when I needed a new challenge and an opportunity presented itself. Wasn’t smooth sailing but it worked out. I’m getting the feeling for a change again but I’ve had enough experience now to know that’s not a feeling I need to fear.
    Feeling lost sometimes just means there’s a new adventure waiting for you to discover.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “Feeling lost sometimes just means there’s a new adventure waiting for you to discover.” YES YES YES ❤ . If I can frame those words, I would. Because that is soo true. Thank you giiirl for that! It reassured me that it's a feeling you felt and you learned to not be scared of it. I think that's the core of life right there. It wasn't smooth sailing and you worked out just fine ! That took a lot of courage and determination 🙂

      Like

  13. Love this post! 🙂 It comes perfectly at the right moment for me! I’m 23, I have a degree in Psychology and still, after 5 years of studying for that, I don’t know what to do. I want to try a lot of things but I’ve been feeling that I should already be settled with a job, a house and everything else. But I’ve decided to try different things, we only have one life, right? So next year I’ll probably (too scared to be sure yet haha) leave Europe for Canada and start studying Criminology…!! Still have to do the application though but your post is encouraging me to do it ! Thank you ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow !! I’m 23 years old and just finished my psychology major too, are we twins??! HAHA Please come to Canada ❤ Hahahh I'll welcome you with open arms. Montreal has a pretty good program for Criminology if you can study in French 😉 Do not be afraid to try out new things, we have only ONE life indeed 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hahaha the world is small!! 😛 That’s very nice of you, thank you I already feel welcomed ❤ Yes that’s exactly why I’m going to Montréal, everybody has been telling me how good it is for criminology 😉
        Thank youuu xxx

        Like

  14. Allow yourself to experiment new things…You must get lost to find yourself.

    Honestly, this right here is such bang on advice. Often we feel like the only way we can succeed is to have a super organized plan of how we are going to do life, but life rarely happens like that and when we can’t fulfill the ‘plan’ it makes us feel like failures. But life is definitely an adventure and we need to be open to discovering things about ourselves along the way.

    When I was in school I was convinced that I was going to do English Literature at Uni. But after I had a breakdown and failed all my GCSE’s that wasn’t going to happen for some time. I drifted about for years in horrible jobs (when I could get them) and eventually did some volunteering with young people. I decided I wanted to go to university and become a youth worker! But at college I started doing History and Anthropology and found that I loved those subjects so much I ended up doing a degree in them both. Now I work part-time as a dog rehomer at a huge animal charity and got really into book blogging which has helped me rediscover my love of writing, so now I am also pitching ideas to anthologies and writing articles.

    Life is a huge meandering journey full of unexpected things. Trying new things can help us figure out a little bit more of the puzzle but in the end we will usually end up in a completely different place than ever imagined :’)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is very inspiring!! I love hearing these stories because its so truue what you said. In the end, we end up in a completely different place and that’s totally okay. We can plan safely all our lives forever but life has a way of slapping us in the face and scream JST LIVE IT DAMN IT HAHA You now have tons of background and I personally believe that’s very impressive ! You are also skilled in writing so I would encourage you to continue in that path by writing articles and putting in words whatever you feel like it 😉

      Like

  15. Wow, Wonderful Post Trang! 20’s is all about enjoying life! 🙂

    Like

  16. Hey, now! Nuttin’ wrong with psych. That was my 2nd major, way back when. And I shifted my study area several times after starting university. It was a learning process to find what I enjoyed.

    I still feel lost sometimes, and that’s ok too. But you are right. Trying new things is good at any age, and there are no deadlines to life achievements.

    Like

  17. Beautiful post- I so agree that we need to get lost in order to find ourselves. I genuinely believe I wouldn’t be the person I am now if I hadn’t got lost along the way- and I still have loads of a way to go- but that’s okay, cos that’s what life’s about 😀 . And I absolutely agree that there are no deadlines to finding your passions!

    Like

  18. Zezee says:

    Some really great advice there, Trang. I sometimes feel lost too and what helps is to experiment, as u said, n also to write about it, which helps me to think deeply about what’s going on.

    Like

  19. *standing ovation* Well said, Trang! I totally agree with you. Everyone feels lost, no matter how young or old they are. After all, life is just a game. We’re all players. The question is: Will you play or let the game play you? Congrats on at least admitting it’s hard. Most people can’t do that.

    Great advice.

    Like

  20. Toy may NEVER know exactly what you want to do. I’m almost 40 and I’m STILL questioning things every day! It’s definitely not something that just comes easy.

    Like

  21. Our culture seems to set us up to think in a linear way of how our life is supposed to go when we reach certain ages. Life is unique for all and although we all share the same flaws as a human race, we at the same time have our own different internal clock of where we should be in our personal journey of life.

    Like

  22. Awesome Post, Trang!!!❤❤❤ I will have to agree on what you said that none of us have our shit together. I’m sorry you have so much pressure put on you. I hope you are well and you take time out for yourself and just do whatever the hell you want.😙

    Like

  23. I’m sorry to hear your parents struggled to accept your choices. It’s so great you didn’t realize you were in the wrong field AFTER you finished a degree in it. I had several friends preassured into careers and they planned and a couple even finished just to throw it in their parents faces! WHY I kept asking them… but I guess they were scared to be lost. ♥️ I love your line “I am happy for you but that’s it.”

    Like

  24. This post of perfectly timed for me, I am currently working two full time jobs for the summer, and am now considering going back too school part time to get a diploma or maybe degree. Basically in the field I already work in but would like some more knowledge and opportunities.

    Like

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